Unseen Influencers: How AI and Social Media Are Shaping Your Teen

Source: New Yorker, Has Social Media Fuelled a Teen-Suicide Crisis?

Let’s be honest: most of us don’t fully understand what our teens are up against when they scroll through their phones. We might complain about screen time or worry about their sleep, but few of us realise that something far more powerful is working behind the scenes. And it's not just influencers or peer pressure. It's artificial intelligence.

Yes, AI is shaping your teenager’s thoughts, feelings, and beliefs every time they swipe, like, or pause on a video. It’s the unseen influencer that never sleeps.

We’ve entered a digital era where algorithms don’t just show content. They predict, provoke, and persuade. They are engineered to keep your teen engaged, often by feeding them emotionally charged content that taps directly into their fears, insecurities, and desires. If that sounds manipulative, that’s because it is.

More Than Just Too Much Screen Time

It’s easy to blame social media on the surface but the real issue lies deeper. These platforms are built on AI systems that learn how your teen reacts and then double down. If your child watches one body editing video, they’ll be served ten more. If they pause on a post about anxiety, the algorithm will feed them more of that mood, sometimes reinforcing their distress rather than offering real support.

This is not coincidence. It’s design.

And while the platforms claim to be promoting connection, what they’re actually doing is creating feedback loops. Emotional distress becomes content. Content becomes identity. Identity becomes currency.

Who’s Really Influencing Your Teen?

We worry about our kids falling in with the wrong crowd. But what if the wrong crowd is an algorithm designed to maximise attention at any cost?

AI doesn’t have values. It doesn’t care about your teen’s self-esteem or mental health. It only cares about one thing: engagement. And teens, with developing brains, fragile identities, and a deep need for belonging, are the perfect targets.

They think they’re just watching a video or checking something quick. But they’re being studied, tracked, and nudged. Nudged toward content that gets clicks, not content that supports their wellbeing.

The Mental Health Fallout

We’re now seeing the consequences.

Skyrocketing anxiety. Rising cases of self-harm. Body image issues in kids as young as ten. Disordered eating disguised as wellness. Teens who feel like they’re failing at life because their real lives can’t keep up with the curated perfection of their feeds.

And underneath it all is this sense of powerlessness. Many teens know it’s unhealthy. They’ve watched the documentaries, heard the warnings. But that doesn’t mean they can stop. Because the platforms are addictive by design, and the AI running them gets smarter the longer they scroll.

What Can We Do?

This isn’t a call to panic. It’s a call to wake up.

We need to start treating AI as a force that’s already shaping our kids, not something in the distant future. We need to talk to teens about why they’re being shown certain videos, not just what they’re watching. We need to teach them to question the algorithm, not blindly accept what lands on their screen.

Start by asking your teen: “Do you know why your feed looks the way it does?” You might be surprised by the conversation that follows.

Most importantly, we need to reclaim what it means to be human. That means helping our teens reconnect with offline experiences that build real confidence, real connection, and real joy. Because no algorithm can replicate the value of presence, purpose, and people who actually care.

Karen Zimelka, MSc Psychology, is a lecturer and speaker who gives talks to empower parents, educators, and teens on mental health, social media, and digital wellbeing.

For bookings or inquiries, email karenzimelka@gmail.com.